Understanding ADHD: My Experience with Late Diagnosed – Combined Type ADHD

 

Hi my Name is Natalie,

 

For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt like I experience the world differently from the people around me. For a long time, I didn’t have the words to explain why I just felt “weird,” or like I was carrying something I couldn’t quite understand, almost like a secret.

 

I now know that I have combined-type ADHD, meaning I experience both inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive traits. But ADHD isn’t just one thing for me it’s a mix of strengths, struggles, and everything in between.

 

I’ve worked at Vincent Place in Southampton for the past two years, supporting residents with a range of needs. My own experiences have shaped how I understand and respond and help others, especially when someone may be struggling in ways that aren’t immediately visible to others.

 

Outside of work, music has always been a big passion and huge part of my life. I love going to gigs and festivals, and I feel most myself when I’m surrounded by live music and that shared energy. It’s also where I feel most connected, meeting new people, sharing experiences, and being fully in the moment.

 

I’m naturally quite a social person, and I genuinely enjoy getting to know people from all walks of life. Those connections mean a lot to me, and they’re a big part of why I’m so passionate about the work I do at student roost.

 

And one thing about me that people tend to learn very quickly is I absolutely love sausage dogs. It’s honestly a bit of an obsession; I just think they’re the cutest things ever!!

 

Childhood and early experiences

 

As a child, I struggled in ways that weren’t always obvious from the outside. At school, I found it difficult to focus, especially on things that didn’t immediately interest me.

 

My mind would drift constantly, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t “just concentrate” in the way others seemed to. This led to bullying, which made things even harder.

 

I often felt frustrated with myself because I wanted to do well, but I didn’t understand why things felt so much harder for me. I also found it difficult to ask for help. If I didn’t understand something, I would stay quiet, partly out of embarrassment and fear of being judged or told off.

 

One constant source of support was my mum, who advocated for me even when I didn’t have the words to explain what I was experiencing or what was wrong. Looking back, I appreciate that far more now, especially knowing she even became a SEN teacher to better understand and support me and others.

 

Socially, things could feel confusing and overwhelming. I worried about saying the wrong thing or being misunderstood. Sometimes I would talk too much, and other times I would shut down completely. I struggled to regulate my emotions and had meltdowns both publicly and in private. I was often described as “sensitive,” but I was experiencing what I now understand as rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), without having the language for it.

 

Teenage years, university, and working memory struggles

 

As I got older, particularly during my teenage years and at university these challenges became more noticeable and more intense. Academic pressure increased, but my ability to organise, prioritise, and retain information didn’t match what was expected.

My working memory has always been a significant difficulty, with professionals suggesting dyslexia or dyspraxia. I could forget instructions almost immediately, lose track of tasks or time, and feel overwhelmed when trying to juggle multiple things at once or disassociate entirely.  

 

At university, this made me feel like I was constantly falling behind, even when I was working incredibly hard. It was never about effort it was about how my brain processes information and the lack of support in place. At times, I was labelled as “lazy,” which reinforced feelings of not being good enough or feeling ‘stupid’.

 

Sensory overload and emotional regulation

 

In social situations and busy environments, I can become easily overstimulated. Noise, movement, even the way my clothes feel, or too much information at once can be overwhelming. It can feel like my brain is trying to process everything at the same time and screaming, without being able to filter anything out this becomes all too much!

When that happens, I may need to withdraw or take time to regulate myself again - sometimes for longer than people expect it to.

 

This was often misunderstood before my diagnosis. I was called “spoiled,” “selfish,” “bratty,” or told I should have grown out of my “tantrums.” But they were never tantrums, they were moments of overstimulation.

 

Hyperactivity and the internal experience of ADHD

 

The hyperactive side of my ADHD isn’t always visible. Yes I need to move more but It can also be a busy mind, racing thoughts, or a constant internal need to be doing something anything.

 

It can feel like there is no real “off switch,” even when I am tired or trying to rest - it can feel like being driven by a motor.

 

Time can feel inconsistent, and switching between tasks can be difficult. Starting tasks can take far more mental energy than people expect, especially when everything feels equally urgent or overwhelming.

 

To describe it, I often say it feels like driving a car while lots of people are talking to you, pointing things out ("look at that sheep in the field!")  telling you to hurry up, or to concentrate, while you’re also trying to decide where to go next.

 

From the outside, ADHD can be invisible. Internally, it’s a constant effort to stay organised, focused, and emotionally regulated, to do things on time, while also trying to manage overwhelm and distraction at the same time. This can be exhausting, especially when it isn’t visible to others.

 

A lot of the time, this also involves masking just to fit in hiding how overwhelmed I feel, trying to appear calm and in control, even when things feel chaotic internally.

 

Diagnosis, support, and change

 

Being diagnosed at 30 was life changing. It helped me understand my past in a completely different way and allowed me to be kinder to myself.

 

I now recognise that my struggles were not due to laziness or lack of effort, but a difference in how my brain works.

 

If you didn’t know, ADHD is a neurological condition that people are born with, which means the brain is wired differently in how it manages attention, focus, impulses, and emotional regulation. This can impact things like organisation, working memory, and time management and how you take in information or learn.

 

Since starting medication and engaging in ADHD therapy, I’ve seen a significant shift in my life for the better. With the right support, understanding, and adjustments, I’ve built more confidence and learned to ask for help when I need it.

 

I now feel like I am driving the car on my own and while people may still get in from time to time, I can choose when to let them in and when to drop them off...OH and not look at that sheep in the field - haha!

 

Life, strengths, and identity

​

Alongside the challenges, ADHD has also shaped many of my strengths. I am creative, empathetic, artistic, and passionate especially about the things I love and care about.

I can hyperfocus when something interests me, which helps me thrive in fast-paced, people-focused environments.

 

I now volunteer at festivals and gigs across the uk - something I’m deeply passionate about. It allows me to support bands and attendees who may also experience neurodivergence. I’ve also worked with We Are Trxsh, supported projects linked to Kerrang! Magazine, and been part of street teamwork with bands such as President and Bury tomorrow. From this I aim to help to create inclusive and supportive spaces within the music scene. Being involved in this side of the industry has shown me how important it is to make live music environments feel safe and accessible for everyone, with the support of artists who genuinely care about their audiences and fans.

I’ve also more recently completed Mental Health First Aid training, become an ADHD Zone UK Ambassador, and I’m currently studying Counselling Level 2 and studying to recognise and help those with substance abuse.

All of this reflects my passion for supporting others and creating safe, understanding spaces where people can feel seen, supported, heard and most importantly be able to be themselves.

 

Advocacy, reflection, and Mental Health Awareness Week

​

Working at Vincent Place, I often reflect on how my experiences may mirror what some of our residents go through. During Mental Health Awareness Week, it feels especially important to recognise the behaviours we might see—withdrawal, overwhelm, frustration, or emotional responses which can often have deeper underlying causes.

For many people, especially those who are undiagnosed, ADHD can have a significant impact on mental health.

 

Constantly feeling misunderstood, struggling to keep up, or being labelled as “lazy” or “too much” can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression over time. There is also still a lot of stigmas around ADHD and mental health conditions, which can make it harder for people to speak up or seek help. This stigma can lead to people masking their difficulties or feeling like they must cope alone.

 

Just like I once struggled without the words to explain how I felt, some of the people we support may be experiencing something similar. Even for those who are diagnosed, there can still be challenges unlearning negative beliefs, understanding their needs, and finding the right support and even excepting themselves.

 

Mental Health Awareness Week is a reminder of how important it is to look beyond what we see on the surface. Reducing stigma, alongside patience, understanding, and compassion, can make a huge difference in how we support others—and how safe they feel to be themselves.